Steps to a fabulous Hawaiian Vacation- Monkey style

1) Give your aunt a call who does travel agency stuff on the side. She'll find you a much better deal! Thank you Aunt Carla!
2) Wield your military ID like a weapon to get a better deal.
3) Make sure you know where all the USO's are located on your way. You will need them when you have a 6 hour layover in Califonia or take the red eye home! Thank you Bob Hope USO!!
4) Make sure you have plenty of sunscreen and sun glasses. And don't forget some snorkel gear! Of course if you forget these, you can always go to one of the 10,000 ABC stores in the area and pick some up.
5) Send your best friends to Hawaii to live. This is very helpful. They know all the good spots, like Sharks Cove and Turtle Bay. Plus they let you borrow their beach umbrellas and boogie boards which you most certainly didn't bring with you consider today's airlines nickle and diming you to death! Of course if you pull out that little weapon called your military ID again, Delta or American will wave your baggage fees and they will announce over the planes intercom that your husband is going on a family vacation after serving in Iraq and everyone will clap for you.

6) Just because everyone says to do it- don't. The road to Hana is not a must unless you enjoy puking! I can now say that I have been on the windiest road in the world, but you can't hang that on your wall! We never did make it to Hana. After stopping to reorient the gyro in our brains at the Garden of Eden, we made it to a little shopping area and then to a beautiful park. The Grandma and her GranddaughtersThat was enough fun for us- since we still had to make the 4 hour trip back. Never did see those sacred pools, but that is OK with me- since they really aren't sacred anyway!

7) If you can do a couple islands, do! I have now seen Oahu twice, Maui and Kauai.
8) Enjoy the beach and some body boarding. Lahaina was beautiful and the waves rocked. It took us a long time to find a place to park, though. Once we got onto Oahu, that little ID helped us get onto the best beach ever at Bellows!
9) If you go around the 4th of July, go see the fireworks on Pearl Harbor. If you are really smart, you will find the VIP boat and sit across from it. Of course, you need to be smarter than us. We sat on the grass, with a bunch of other people. And just like them, we got sprayed right in the face when the sprinkler system came on halfway through the fireworks!
10) You have got to have Hawaiian ice- good stuff! Of course North Shore is the place famous for it, but it's pretty much the same everywhere.
11) Do, Do, Do go to the Polynesian Cultural Center! We waited for the fire guys all day long and finally got to see them at the show at night. The boys loved it so much that Joe said he was going to bring his children here and ask them if they wanted to stay forever. Cap was our favorite. He was from the Samoan village and he taught you how to open a coconut and make fire. He told us what fire was in a bunch of different languages while he was doing this- including Japanese- "he" He says- I don't know what she is, but 'He' is hot!
Loved the spear throwing, learning to dance
and swinging the poe balls.
12) Take a hike to a secluded waterfall and pool and jump off the rocks into the water. You will need your a fore mentioned Hawaiian expert friends to be able to find this, though! Also swing on the vines while you are on your walk.
13) get a tattoo- at the Polynesian cultural center (or PCC as the locals call it)- it's so authentic and so washable!
14) Get leid! Very important step! Of course you will need those special friends again to meet you at the airport and welcome you to the island the proper way!
15) Stop by the bamboo forest on the side of the road and help yourself to some fallen bamboo- look natural, like you aren't doing a thing when you see anyone coming!
16) Climb a coconut tree just like the professionals- good luck!
17) Prepare to spend lots of money at the Dole Pineapple factory and get lost in their maze. We finished with all our stencils in place, just under the record time of 6 minutes. Ours was somewhere around 1 hour and 8 minutes.
18) Stay at a nice hotel. When you switch hotels and find the next one is really, really not nice- don't ruin your vacation! Pack up and go back to the nice one and beg for a few more nights!
19) Bring your GPS- it will take you to the swap meet (and everywhere else!) where you can find quality junk for low prices!

20) Love your family! The Brothers

Enjoy the time you have with them. Take kids who love to fly and don't whine (they were so, so good!)

Be adventurous! Grandpa is the only person I know who snorkels fully dressed

Be Happy!
Relax! Repeat!