Thursday, February 18, 2010

I understand the value of the Lesson, but do I have to like it?

We were reading in 1Nephi the other day about the trials their family had crossing the wilderness and building a boat, so we began to talk about trials. We talked about their value and how we can help make them strengths, etc. Right now my back is having it's painful time. I started having back pain about 5 or 6 years ago. The first time it lasted for a year. Every day I was in pain, for an entire year! It was awful. During that time, I did a lot of research, tried a lot of different things, got a blessing. I have since figured out how to get over these bad days a lot faster. They usually last for 3 days- 2 weeks tops, now. I absolutely have to exercise. People think I am so committed to exercise- what I am really committed to is not being in pain (and not weighing 200 pounds!) I also have to eat right and control my stress level. These are all excellent things. I have very little self-motivation, so I know the back pain is the Lord giving me a little push to do the right things when it comes to my body. I also have developed a real empathy for those who come in to the ER for their pain. I used to see everyone as a drug seeker. Now I realize how bad that pain can wear you down until you don't care anymore and you just want it to stop! In a way, my back pain is a blessing in my life, but do I really have to like it?
We sold our home and had the inspection the other day. The night before the inspector came our water heater went out. We have had lots of problems with that water heater. I think it was defective to begin with. But we always eventually got the pilot light to light again. It always took a lot of time and at least one prayer, but it would eventually light. This time, it didn't. Rob worked really hard on it and prayed. We prayed as a family. I prayed. During my prayer, the thought came to me that if it lit, we would continue to ignore the fact that it had problems and probably move out of the house with the new tenant (a single mother) moving in. What would happen when the water heater went out on her. I got the distinct impression that this was happening now, to make us take care of the problem for good, so that she didn't have to deal with that. I have so much more empathy for single mother's since Robert was deployed to Iraq. I wasn't upset anymore, but do I really have to like the 2 days we had to bundle all the kids up and trudge through the snow up to the gym to take our showers?
Do I have to thank God for my trials, or do I just have to thank him for the lessons we have learned because of them? And can't I wish their was an easier, less painful way of learning these things?


Anonymous said...

It is wonderful that you do learn from these experiences. Some people keep hitting their head against the wall over and over . Mom