Blogging Hiatis

I took a Hiatis, not because I wanted to, but because I had one of 4 classes that I have to take every other year in order to continue working in the ED this week. I have to pass the practical and written tests at the end or I can't work until I do. They used to make these much harder and whenever they found out that I worked in the ED, they always made the rhythms as tough as possible. This hospital is all about passing you and almost everyone in the class worked in the ED. Even one of our ED docs was there, so I shouldn't have stressed, but I still did. First of all I am not a perfectionist in any sense of the word, but when it comes to school type things, I just have to do well to be happy. I graduated 5 years of college with a 3.93- nursing school and all! The 3 B's that I did get were when the men in my life needed extra time. Second, I only work PRN (as needed) and have never worked anything other than that. I want to be able to stay home with my kids, so I only work 1/2 shifts when my husband is home. This has made it so that I have never gotten really good at ER nursing. I feel like the idiot at work all the time! I do not want to show everyone how much of an idiot I am during a class. I feel like I have to do as good or better than everyone else on the tests just so they won't look down on me at work. Does that make sense? So this has been my stress week- even my husband said he could no longer live with me. Unfortunately, I have another one of those classes the first week of May. Time to get studying!