Mormon Culture

I was reading on Suzie Petunia's blog, who is my sister-in-laws, sister-in-law's sister- yeah, absolutely no relation. She also writes for Marathon Mommies. Anyway, she brought up an interesting subject of Mormon Culture an what we think it entails. I would say, "go watch the Single's Ward and The RM and there you have it!" I love how they make fun of themselves! "Fetch, What the Heck, Special Spirit, the mission Field, Magnify your Calling"- seriously people, what does that even mean? I have been asking that for sometime and not one person has come up with a real answer, yet, but we all seem to know what is meant by it when someone says to us to go "Magnify you Calling." Because seriously, do they want us to make it this grandious thing that takes over all importance in our lives; therefore, making us assume that it should take equal presidence in other people's lives, because that's what people keep assuming it means.
And how about blessing the refreshments (that are brought to every gathering!) to Nourish us and strengthen us. Uh, yeah, I don't think he's going to do that for the brownies and the donuts! I really want to pray that "no ones has a cornonary tonight from all the refined sugar and fat we are about to partake of." My sister-in-law, says, maybe we should bless those calories to just slip on through and not take ahold of our love handles! The last time they asked me to give a blessing on the refreshments I got the giggles and had a hard time finishing. I so badly wanted to say what I thought!
Or how about the "bless us that we may drive home safely and that no accident or injure may befall us" Like it is waiting to fall on us at any moment. "make that accident befollow someone else tonight, Lord!"
Mormon Standard time- that's accounting for all the kids that you have to get ready! It takes a while people, give us a break! And with that many kids, somethings bound to happen even if you are running on time. Someone spills something on themselves and has to be totally redressed, someone invariably has to go potty, someone is touching someone else and therefore you have to pull the car over to the side of the road and ask if they need to get out and walk. It's always something! Kids=15 minutes late!
And Mormon hair. We all have it, so admit it. My friend who's Dad was a very inactive member and who knew nothing of the church once commented on a picture that she didn't know where it was at, but judging from the high content of mormon hair she saw, it had to be a church gathering!
I love the other things in the RM, like the Relief Society lessons- that is so true, isn't it. And Elder's quorum and his interviews with the members about their home teaching record- spot on baby! So what other things do you consider Mormon Culture?